Summer sex dreams

So, it is summertime. The magical time where once a year, you are free from school and your troubles and able to do whatever, unless of course you have a life, AP classes, or a job. meh.

So over the last few weeks, I've been becoming increasingly more and more bored. While I've hung out with tons upon tons of people and said goodbye to an awesome friend, its just not satisfying my craving for fun! I NEED to hang out with a huge variety of people to survive, and I'm just not meeting that quota! So I'm gonna hang out with you this week. Yes, you. Just facebook me. LAWL.

So Im moving out the end of this month (yay!) and I'm finally gonna be experiencing the freedom in life that I deserve, away from parents and petty restrictions (looking at you, Arizona state laws :P). So, yeah. Should be a fun time!

Oh, and I titled it summer sex dreams because after talking to people about sex (as always), it ocurred to me that most of the dreams people get over summer are really intimate, sometimes sexual, dreams about obscure people, whether from school or jobs, that they dont usually talk to. I know I've had my share, and woah, theyre bizarre. hahaha well, that's it for now, world. Goodbye!!!

Just you wait...

Hope you like what I've come up with so far, world! Bear with me until I graduate in another week (making it impossible for me to get in trouble by posting stuff about my former teachers) and you won't be sorry! Thanks!!!

THE ALMIGHTY BIEB.

Justin Bieber.


LOVE THE BIEB.

These two words, coupled perhaps with a segment of song, or even a picture, spark either euphoric joy or deep hatred in the hearts of all those between the ages of 7 and 19. There is no in between. You are either a Belieber, or a hater. But why do people hate on this innocent little closeted homosexual boy? Is it the hair? Perhaps the semi-girlish voice (which he grew out of, people. HE'S A MAN NOW)? Or is it the fact that he was able to make something of himself long before any of us knew what to do in life? Whichever way you view him, there is no denying that Justin Bieber is an incredibly talented performer, and just needs somebody to love. Perhaps no groups hates on the Bieb more than guys. Have you ever noticed that the guys that hate on him the most have Bieber hair (Maybe they hate because he rocks it better than them!) ? guys that love Selena Gomez also tend to hate the Bieb, probably because he is totally hitting that, tapping that, pounding that, and any other ways you'd like to phrase his having sex with her. However, while all this hate is going on, there is a limit to how much hate is produced, due mainly to the biggest asset in Bieber's favor: HIS ARMY. Millions upon millions of little girls and gay guys around the world, from Canada to Tibet, and from America to what's left of Japan. The point is, Justin Bieber has his own private army. And thsee people will find you. Watch your location, haters, as you might not realize it, but there are people around you when you talk. And while they may seem harmless and unassuming at first, in large numbers they can destroy you. All it takes is one little comment spread round the world to set them off. Don't believe me? Take Kim Kardashian (need another post for this beast entirely. Make that two, one for her ass).  less than 24 hours -24 hours- after Bieber posted a pic of them together on his twitter page, she lost over 50,000 followers, and began receiving death threats.

Point is, watch your hating on the Bieb. Try to be the one prson to create the middle area that doesn't like or hate him, but respects him. :)

Stoners

Stoners are the bane of society. While some people may say that it's fun, or it's not addictive, it just seems stupid. Like, even if it was legal, would you truly get high? The answer is no for me. I don't care if there's no ill health effects, or people have fun doing it, or if everyone tries it out at least once. I haven't, and I won't. ever. It make you look retarded and immature, like you don't have the balls to try a bigger drug so you reach for weed. Weed is a child's drug! If you want to prove your manhood, why don't you go kill some braincells with meth or crack or something? Idiots. Or you could just not do drugs a all, and be able to actually tell that to your kids one day rather then to guiltily tell them the story about how you smoked weed when you were young and immature. Yeah. Think about THAT, potheads.

And if any of you show or drop your weed around me again,
I'll blackmail you so hard that it'll pay for my college education.

RYNE HOFFMAN'S ANIMAL LOG- JAGUAR BOY

We've all seen him: whether it be walking into the bathroom and he's lapping at the water in the water fountain, or on our way to class and we catch a split second glimpse of him running -sorry, loping- past us on all fours. We know him, we love him, JAGUAR BOY! This boy, while a precocious and intelligent young lad, has got it in his mind that he is part jaguar. He can be seen gallivanting around the campus on all fours, leaping over walls and bushes and the occasional person, roaring and making animal sounds as he goes. If you run in to jaguar boy in the hallway and there's few or no people around, try to remember the following: RABID!

R- remain calm
A- approach  with caution
B- be friendly to him/ smile
I- ignore the sounds/roaring
D- don't look in the eyes!

D is especially important, as looking into his eyes will surely provoke an attack!
Remember these few aforementioned steps, and you may survive to live another day. Stay strong, my friends! And if you run in to Jaguar boy, remember to stay RABID!

GUUURL, ITS PROM NIGHT!!!

the title's irrelevant, just love saying it :P

So after getting my SEP score back, and fixing my grades to where I'll actually graduate, I realized that there is absolutely no point at all to the next two weeks of school. (Well at least for seniors)

We're. Done.

I mean, why are we even still here? We all know that any work that teachers assign in these upcoming weeks is just gonna be blown off and done crappily at best, so why even bother? F school. There. I said it. BOOM. Also, you know what really grinds my gears? Bad acting. Take for instance the movie about quinceneras we're watching in spanish. I mean, you'd be WAAAAY more sad then that if YOUR family was getting deported, right? And if you're gonna be in a movie, can you at least put some effort into the acting? Dont be some half ass bullshit actress that obviously failed out of acting class.

OHANDANOTHERTHING...

After watching quietly for four years, Im happy to say that I have a future, I hang out with people with futures, and all the people that are on top of the social pecking order now? They do too...but it involves us as their bosses! hahaha SUCK IT POPULARITY! Oh and have any of you taken my advice and bit a poor person recently? You should try it. They really are tasty!

School. UGH

School is pretty much useless. I think home and private schools are best, because at least there are only kids who want to be there present. At public school you get the morons losers and tards that are just there because they have to, and are going to go off into their lives afterwards and make nothing of themselves. Well, as for me, I FULLY intend to make something of myself in life! I’m gonna be awesome and amazing and everyones gonna know me :P OH but I suppose one good thing about school is friends, because you make lots of them and they are awesome and amazing and come in handy for job applications! On another random note, have you ever noticed the people that when you’re trying to walk to class jsut decide its a great idea to just STOP right there in the middle of the hallway and start talking? Like thats a GREAT freaking place to have your conversation dude, im not trying to walk or anything… OH and especially between the 400 and 500 buildings, where theres just like a giant freaking stop mob that talks and thinks they’re all cool! For those of you that care about being late and actually want to get to class on time, I recommend flailing your way through. It may be awkward, but people will part for you like the freaking red sea! You may be judged, but hey! You can just flail at them and hit them! What are they gonna do, hit back?! Sooo yeah. Thats school. For now. :)

Kathy Griffin is Freakin' awesome

So yeah, Kathy Griffin, the comedian is pretty much amazing. Do you know who else is amazing? God. Oh, and Jesus. And Dexter, from the TV show. How cool is he?! He gets away with murder in a workplace that catches murderers. Yeah, pretty flippin cool. Oh, and Cthulu, the Mighty old one god that has the head of a squid. Do you know who’s not awesome? Charlie Sheen. He’s all over the media, talking about “winning” and how he’s on a drug, and its called Charlie Sheen…hes crazy. And LOSING. Oh, do you know who else isnt awesome? Satan. I mean like, who betrays god? Did you think he’s not gonna know that you’re planning against him? He’s GOD. He knows EVERYTHING. Although one has to wonder whether or not we should pity the devil… I mean, as Christians aren’t we supposed to forgive? Do we forgive him for bringing sin into the world? And besides, isn’t Hell just as sucky for him, since he’s burning for eternity? And he’s been burning in there for far longer then anyone else, im pretty sure! Oh yeah, thats right, I was on Kathy Griffin! So she’s pretty great eh? :)

RYNE HOFFMAN'S ANIMAL LOG- DUFFS

DUFFS. You’ve all heard me use the term, and I’ve explained it to most of you. For those of you that are just tuning in to this mass sensation, here it is straight from the safari expert that coined the term-
DUFF

D-dumb
U- ugly
F- fat
F- friend

The DUFF is the person within a social group that without them would be seen as the wierdo, the outcast, the loner. The DUFF is the friend that is in a social group to make everyone else in that group, no matter how unattractive or unappealing, look better. For example:

“Look! There’s Kiersten, Jane, Holly, and Angela! and… Myrtle…”

There is always a DUFF within the group, no matter how cool or attractive the group. To a super hot group, even an average or above average person may be a DUFF. They are always there though, so be on the lookout for them. And if you yourself think or know that you may be the DUFF in your group, go get uglier friends! There will always be a fatter, uglier DUFF to replace you.
So yeah! Be aware, friends! :)

Eating the poor

I firmly advocate capturing, cooking, and eating poor people. I mean, if they don’t contribute anything to society in the first place, why let them stay? the least they can do is allow themselves to be eaten. (preforably make themselves taste good, too.) Think about it. If morals weren’t in the way, why not? It would solve both world hunger and poverty SIMULTANEOUSLY. What could be better? Nothing. So the next time you see a poor person, go ahead and take a bite. Really! It’s for the best :)